Feeling Old?

........I am feeling old (At my age flowers scare me) and tired.......

A is for arthritis,

B is for bad back,

C is for the chest pains. Corned Beef? Cardiac?

D is for dental decay and decline,

E is for eyesight--can't read that top line.

F is for fissures and fluid retention

G is for gas (which I'd rather not mention--

and not to forget other gastrointestinal glitches)

H is high blood pressure

I is for itches and lots of incisions

J is for joints, that now fail to flex

L is for libido--what happened to sex?

Wait! I forgot about K!

K is for my knees that crack all the time

(But forgive me, I get a few lapses in my

Memory from time to time)

N is for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff) and neurosis

O is for osteo-for all the bones that crack

P is for prescriptions, that cost a small fortune

Q is for queasiness. Fatal or just the flu?

Give me another pill and I'll be good as new!

R is for reflux--one meal turns into two

S is for sleepless nights,

counting fears on how to pay my medical bills!

T is for tinnitus--I hear bells in my ears

and the word 'terminal' also rings too near

U is for urinary and the difficulties that flow (or not)

V is for vertigo, as life spins by

W is worry, for pains yet unfound

X is for X-ray--and what one might find

Y is for year (another one, I'm still alive).

Z is for zest

For surviving the symptoms my body's deployed,

And keeping twenty-six doctors gainfully employed.....

Ss

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Will Rogers’- Words of Wisdom:

 

Will Rogers’- Words of Wisdom:

 

Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash in Alaska with bush pilot Wiley Post, was one of the greatest political country/cowboy sages this country has ever known.

Some of his sayings -

1.   Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.  

2.   Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.  

3.   There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.  

4.   Never miss a good chance to shut up.  

5.   Always drink upstream from the herd.  

6.   If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.  

7.   The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.  

8.   There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

9.   Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.  

10.   If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

11.   Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.  

12.   After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.

The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

 

ABOUT GROWING OLDER...  

First ~      Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Second ~   The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third ~   Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.  

Fourth ~   When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.  

Fifth ~   You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.  

Sixth ~   I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.  

Seventh ~   One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it's such a nice change from being young.  

Eighth ~   One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.  

Ninth ~   Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable and relaxed.  

Tenth ~  Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it’s called golf.

And, finally ~   If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old